Sunday, July 30, 2006


"Ay! Can you take a printout of this link I'll just message you?"

"theek" ............

"That was quick- thanks !"

"Why are you tearing it apart?!"

"Why do you think I asked you to print it?"

"To tear it?!"

"Yes of course"

"Who even does that? Why?"

"Because this paper is filled with expectations"

"You know what you want. So what!"

"I know what I do not want. I know that this paper will remind me, should I forget, of what I didn't want to live with.

And I don't want that. It's not how it should be."

"Who said it shouldn't be like that?"

"I heard it."


"When I went outside today"

"So you finally went outside only to come back slightly deranged?I thought fresh air was supposed to broaden your horizons"

"That's why I'm tearing it up"

"Then you won't have any opinions!! You needn't broaden it so much that all there is left is breadth and none of you!"

"M, think of it this way. I am wiping a slate. I'm starting again"

"So you're tearing it up to create a new list?"

"No. There won't be any lists now on"

"So the slate will remain blank- forever?!"

"Yes it will"

"So you want to be faceless and forgetable? Or you want to leave it blank for others to write what they want to see and you'll let them?"

"No M. Think of it as this. As a blank slate, what do you see? Black. Stark black. But isn't black special? It can absorb any and every colour. It's what makes it black. And it's why it remains black. I can absorb, bear, be anything and everything at every given time. It doesn't matter what someone is like then anymore or what they write. I shall take it all. And yet....... I shall remain unchanged"

"That's a nice euphemism for being a doormat."

"I was destined to be black."

"You weren't. You went outside and learnt black is in. Why do you think that is so? Because Whites like that. They like it because they don't want to 'taint' themselves with a splash of colour . They don't because they repel changes . Because changes are difficult. It's easier to say - be black! Take it all in!"

"I used to say that M. But I was wrong. I must be. I have to be. "

"Congratulations. You are now afraid to be someone."


deepak said...

ahem...*sweating slightly*...maybe M was too harsh !! :)

Deepali said...

Well I tried to make it a balanced story =)

Sriram said...

Ha!! The print-out thing is hilarious! It would pass off as an AWESOME joke, don't you think?

As far your last statement, aren't we all trying to be someone else? As in other than who we really are? ;)

Nahuatl said...

Crappy crab stuff! :PPP

Anonymous said...

Just like your other blogs. The beginning is innocuous enough, the tempo climbs to a stage where it goes right over the reader (I am speaking only for MYSELF). Keep writing, though. I keep coming back to this blog whenever my ego bloats up & I feel it needs a puncture.

Rach said...

Lol, Makes me feel like it was a conversation between you and me that took place one fine

Deepali said...

rach: erm you'd have to refresh my memory because this conversation was fictional!

....R.A.J.A.... said...


Deepali said...

raja: surprised kyun

....R.A.J.A.... said...

forgive my sub-50 IQ. I couldn't understand it :-s

Deepali said...

raja: what confused you? :)
But you also had the surprised look for the 55 below this post. For the same reason?